The Bittersweet Season

The month of November is marked as the time to “Give Thanks and Be Grateful”.  While there are many things to be grateful for, many people have a hard time identifying those things when they are mourning a loss.  Now, as we enter the month of December, a time for celebration as we celebrate the birth of Jesus, spend time with family and close friends, it too can be challenging when someone you loved dearly is no longer with you.  Whether a person is mourning the loss of a physical death or an emotional death, this time of the year can be bittersweet.  

What is grief?  Grief can be defined as the response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or some living thing that has died, to which a bond or affection was formed. However, grief can also refer to an emotional death such as divorce, estrangement, loss of a friendship or relationship.

Grief is hard and it is especially difficult to deal with during the holiday season. The important thing to note about grief is everyone processes grief differently. During this time of the year, please be intentional about uplifting others.  You can send a text, send an email, pick up the phone and call someone, and/or give someone a hug.  Let them know you love them, and they are not alone.  Let’s not get so wrapped up in ourselves that we neglect those who may be hanging on by a thread.  You never know the impact of something as simple as a “smile” or letting someone know you are “thinking of them”. 

We understand and know when a person has an authentic relationship with Christ and they lose a loved one, the scripture comforts us by saying “to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord (2 Corinthians 5:8); however, that doesn’t always soothe us.  When you have established an earthly bond with someone, even if you know Jesus for yourself, it can still be a lot to handle when they are no longer with you.  While some may seem to move through the grief process faster than others, it is important to note others may be struggling, not fully able to embrace or process the loss.  Instead of being judgmental and saying to someone "you should be further along in your journey", please grant that person some grace and mercy.

Did you know there are five stages to the grieving process?:  Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.  Some may move from stage to stage in that order rather quickly, while others can spend longer on each stage and may even progress and then make a U-turn.  Guess what?  It is okay.  We are human and it is essential to validate a person’s feelings and where they are at in their grieving stage.  Remember, we are all different so let’s be understanding. 

Above all, please know God understands how you feel, because after all, He gave His only son.  He loves you and will see you through this.  BUT if you can’t find comfort in the scriptures and life seems bleak and you feel as though you can’t move forward, please seek help.  There is nothing wrong with seeking help, prayer, and counseling.   

Resources: 

Here are some scriptures to reflect on during this season and remember, you are NOT alone.  If you need help, please reach out! Please see my booking calendar to book you a session. I'm looking forward to supporting you!

• Matthew 5:4: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”

• Revelation 21:4: He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

• Psalm 147:3: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds”.

• 1 Peter 5:7: “Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you”.

• Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

• Matthew 11:28-30: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

With Love,

LaKeah Alexander, Your Personal Transformation and Catalyst Life Coach